Josna Rege

196. Never No More

In Childhood, Inter/Transnational, Music, Stories on April 16, 2013 at 11:58 pm

When you are a little girl and you quarrel with your best friend, one or the other of you storms out of the room, crying, “I’m never going to talk to you again—never, ever!” Fortunately, most of these storms give way to sunshine before long and you are soon arm-in-arm again, all forgiven and forgotten.

Adults have longer memories; they bear grudges, grudges that they hold on to like grim death even though in the process they hurt themselves more than anyone else.  For them, how long “Never” is may depend on how obstinate they are, how long they’re willing to deny themselves the possibility of forgiveness.

One of my favorite Jimmie Rodgers songs is the Never No Mo’ Blues. The singer has lost his lover and he is inconsolable. He declares that his life is a failure, because:

She won’t be my gal no mo’ no mo’ no mo

His last yodeled no mo-o’ is drawn out like a hound howling at the moon. He closes:

Now whether I’m right or wrong
I’m gonna be gone before long
And then I’ll hush this crazy song
And I never will sing
No mo’, no mo-o’ 

It is a devastating thought to me that someone could forever deny himself the joy of singing, one of the chief means by which he might be able to find consolation.

Boston Deals With Aftermath Of Marathon Explosions

In the aftermath of a really tragic event like yesterday’s blasts at the Boston Marathon,  it is too soon to speak of forgiveness. In the face of  so much pain, people must draw together protectively. But while I am hearing deep sorrow, disbelief, determination to keep strong and to see justice done, I’m not hearing talk of vengeance or the drum-beat for a scapegoat. We won’t forget this soon. But Never is a long time.

Tell Me Another (Contents to Date)

Chronological Table of Contents


  1. Josna, the fact that you are not hearing talk of vengeance is such an encouraging thing in the face of such pain and anguish. So deeply, deeply tragic.

    • Yes, Don. I think people are trying to pull together but not to get caught up in mass hysteria. But it’s a sad time. And the gun lobby’s success in preventing any gun controls from being passed at the national level only adds insult to injury.

      • The prevention of those gun controls, especially the background checks is something I find immensely difficult to grasp and understand. I get the feeling that I’m missing something in the American psyche because I just don’t get it. Am I being insensitive to something I just don’t understand, Josna?

        • Well, Don, that’s a hard one. I suppose “the American psyche” is still in some part the lawless, “rough justice” spirit of the Wild West. Add to this historical factor that a segment of the right wing have allowed themselves to be whipped up into mass hysteria over a belief that our right-of-center, very-capitalist President is planning some kind of socialist takeover of the country, so that gun control is part of a plot to leave the citizens defenseless when the takeover comes down. Then there is the additional–and probably critical–factor of the tremendous power of the NRA, which I do not fully understand.

        • Very interesting. Obviously also very complex. Thanks for that Josna. Appreciate your words.

  2. sending some rays of sun for comfort. sad and stunned. bine

  3. Holding grudges can paralyze one. Its easier just to turn the back and forget about it all.

    KaTy Did at: Life’s Ride As I See It

    • You’re right about the effect of holding grudges. I wonder, though, when it’s healthiest to turn away and forget and when it’s important to engage and to try to communicate? Thank you for your visit and comment.

  4. Hard not to hate when things like these happen, but that’s one emotion that has the ability to make us sick.

    • Yes, and yes. Hating is so poisonous, it eats one up inside. I’m hearing a lot of examples of people turning the destructive emotions into something positive. Thank you for your comment. Cheers, J

  5. We are told in no uncertain terms by Scripture that vengeance belongs to God and is not ours to deliver. In many ways that is a relief and we can get on with helping things, and people heal and forgive, eventually.

    The gun lobby must not be allowed to win in the end. We must keep up the fight. Our President is right – this is just the beginning. America is so much more than just those who live by fear. We have to decide which side we are on and stand together for what is right and reasonable in keeping our precious community safe and alive and free.

    • Yes, Marianne, by all means–we need to let go of the desire to judge and punish And yes, we have to keep up the pressure on the gun control issue. Ninety percent of Americans want some further controls and the President clearly can’t do this alone. I love that last sentence of yours–so much in it.

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